umb ssw logo

APPLY NOW        REQUEST INFORMATION 

« July 2008 | Main | September 2008 »

August 30, 2008

Do Not Let This Time Pass You By

No matter how much I try I cannot disguise the fact that I am a planner. I attempt to plan every aspect of my life and often find that I spend too much time planning and not enough time living. That was one “Ericka-ism” I listed as needing to change as I planned for India. ;) Since being here, I am trying to embrace the “no plan just live” attitude. But the other day I felt compelled to look at a calendar and plan the next few months of my life. It was while doing so that I realized I have two and a half months left in India. Before I get too focused on where I am going and forgetful of where I have been, I will take a few moments to reflect on this awesome experience. We have done a lot in such a short amount of time.

Perhaps the biggest and most meaningful part of completing field abroad is the chance to develop real connections and memories with other social workers from UMB. The time spent traveling and navigating cultural norms forces each person to think more critically about what social work means to them and what areas of study are still needed in order to become professionally competent.

Constructing a social network and support system for ourselves has proven essential in allowing us to see India in a way that might otherwise have been closed off. Field work starts the moment we walk out of our guesthouse because we are constantly working to build relationships, dispel stereotypes about the US, and create meaningful memories with everyone we have contact with. The work specific to our concentrations/specializations all vary and only provide a small window into how we are all progressing as professionals.

As I look back over all of the pictures I can see that there is something truly different about me and it is more than just my hairdos. With time my smile is broader, my shoulders more relaxed, and I am just Ericka. They show me that I want to plan programs and business ventures not every aspect of my life. I am a mother-bear that wants to make sure everyone around me feels special. But the kicker is that the pictures also show me that yoga is working; I have lost a good portion of the gut I had been trying to suck in when I first got here. :)

Happy days from India!

August 17, 2008

UMB6

Our Group

Jeremy-
Tall, playful, and very much the extrovert. Lets just say he keeps things interesting. He has a lot to say and sometimes (most times) if you pay attention to him, his expressions, and words you see that he is a bit mischievous but also very insightful. He enjoys meeting people and understanding their limits/boundaries. Although he tries to assert that he is not a "gentleman" he is very much a gentle man. I appreciate his presence and am ever grateful for his instictive brotherly ways.

Ingrid-
If silly was defined as vibrant, witty, and intelligent all mixed together with humor and thoughtfulness then my word to describe Ingrid would be silly. She is super smart and fun-loving but just plan silly. The way she sees the world and her experiences in the world thus far are all so very interesting. I enjoy having her around because there is always something very real there and she seems to make everyone more at ease with themselves.

Caitlin-
The girl has dimples for days and you cannot help but feel better when she is smiling or laughing. A very passionate and assertive spirit she brings energy to every situation. She is a very loyal and loving friend to those in her close circle and takes the time to build strong relationships; her face lights up when she speaks of home, her family, and her friends. An avid cook, traveler, and shopper she is full of surprises.

Sara-
Spunky, loving, and always up for a challenge she feels and loves deeply. She is very aware of what she wants to get out of her professional life. Her thirst for adventure and new experiences is great. It is fun to listen to her stories about adventures with family and friends because each one is full of the free-spirited yet deeply loving, and playful personality.

Jessica-
I often find myself wondering if I was as well put together mentally and emotionally at 23 as she is. She is fun, generous, and down right hilarious when she wants to be. Mixed with those things is a spunky no-mess attitude that makes her both straight-forward and real. Always ready for a biscuit break she helps me to process my thoughts.

I wonder if they see these things in themselves. Do they know their potential as social workers? Do they know how they each are helping to transform my views about life and the world? Such a cool group.

group%20at%20Kanyakumari.jpg Caitlin, Jessica, Ingrid, Jeremy, me, and Sara

Serenity Now

Bus rides here provoke some of the most interesting thoughts for me. Maybe it is being crammed into a moving vehicle so tightly that forces my mind to wander...a woman has to do something to keep from screaming. Elbows, armpits, hair belonging to five other women are pressing against every touchable surface of my person and it is getting to a point where I feel faint, frustrated, and unsure if that last sigh was mine or the woman behind me. I need serenity NOW...

Today, I was on my way to Kunjattukara Creche with a ROSS worker and four BSW students to conduct a youth celebration program. Yesterday, August 15th, was India's Independence Day and to celebrate the teacher at this creche wanted a day of activities and fun for the youth in the area. On our way there we had to take two buses and an auto. It was on the first bus that I had my mental escape.

When using US standards of wealth and poverty, I am a broke graduate student. Back home I struggle to pay my bills month to month, eat PB&Js for lunch, and constantly count my dollars. But when I stop and consider where I am, right now, and how one US dollar is equivalent to 40-42 rupees I know that there are others in the world far less fortunate. My poverty is by choice because the hope is that after I graduate I can provide a better life for myself and support those I care about. With the value our society places on our profession and the work we do I might have to work two or three jobs in order to do that. But with hard work I can live the life of my dreams. That mentality or way of looking at life circumstances has not really reached the India I have seen thus far in my trip.

Social work in India is very grassroots. It is all about trying to empower people within their communities and neighborhoods. There are so many immediate issues that grassroots movements are clearly needed but I cannot help but wonder has anyone taken the time to think beyond the current crisis. What happens when things stabilize? Is there a plan to keep the community moving forward and progressing? Are the people being served really connecting with the idea that they have the power to mobilize and change things? What can I do to help things improve for the communities I serve? My first thoughts are always program planning and youth development because that is where I heart and interests are but for the agency and communities it is teaching communicative English to youth. My thoughts then went to the fact that perhaps America has moved too far away from grassroots efforts. We still have people disconnected from services and disenfranchised by systems. How can I merge these realities into my practice back home? Is going door to door too outdated in our culture? Would people turn me away and ask that I send them an email? If someone came into my office seeking services I do not provide would I stop what I was doing to take their information so that I could seek out the help they need?

I wondered about all these things as my mind tried to keep me distracted from the wetness of a elderly woman's headwrap that had brown droppings on it...so trying not to freak out at that point. I forced my gaze out the window only to see a family of four (a husband, wife, and two small children) cruising along on a motorcycle. I cannot even fit my life into my four door Corolla, how can they fit their family on that bike?...


Aug%2011%202008%20-%20family%20on%20bike.jpg Different family on a different day but you get the idea.

August 16, 2008

Video Clips

Houseboat Video

Kathakali Dance Video

Kanyakumari Video


Saree Shopping: UMB6 has been invited to two weddings in September and the ladies in the group have to wear sarees. Here is a video of Jessica and Caitlin trying on sarees. Jess is such a good sport about these kinds of things. Caitlin is like a kid in a candy store and would have bought the whole store if she could...I love watching her eyes because she gets so excited. I bought a saree the day of this video basically beause Jessica, Caitlin, Ingrid, and Neethu (our Indian sister/cousin) said I looked like royalty. How could I not buy it? Cannot wait to take a video of all of us in our sarees...the sarees in this video are just samples.

August 14, 2008

Jessica's Holiday

Jessica's birthday was this past Monday...HAPPY B-DAY Biscuit!...and to celebrate and rejuvenate our spirits the 6 of us packed ourselves up and boarded a train headed south. Our destination was simple, Kovalam Beach and then Kanyakumari. Thank goodness for birthdays and good planning.

We arrived safely in Trivandrum, the southern most district in Kerala, and was picked up by Ani ('A for apple, N for naughty, and I for idiot'...his words not mine) the manager of Silver Star Hotel. Kerala is currently in the middle of monsoon season which is the off-season for most beaches in the area and some businesses are more than willing to accommodate the needs of students on a budget. Silver Star was a nice hotel because it was not on the beach but close enough that you did not feel like you were missing the beach experience.

The German Bakery...yum! Most of us in the group have been missing our crazy American diets which include pancakes or french toast at some point for breakfast and a meal with french fries or some other potato creation. The bakery is propped in front of the beach so that you can enjoy your choice of an English, French, German, or American style breakfast while watching the waves. If you are facing the water the red and white lighthouse is to your left and nothing but water and rocks to your right. We ate most of our meals at the German Bakery but did venture to other places to get the full experience of Kovalam cuisine.

The "fruit ladies". My mom has tried to infuse the New Yorker mentality regarding strangers in me but since my days in NY it has gradually left me. It is now to the point that I cannot help but smile and say hello to someone who approaches and does not seem threatening. How could I not say hello to a woman balancing a fruit basket filled with mangos, bananas, and pineapples on her head with arms extended towards me as if we were old friends? The New Yorker in me (the little Ericka on my shoulder) said look beyond her and keep it moving but the hippie in me said to smile and greet. This skinny woman with her basket and broken English had the grip of a gentle sumo wrestler. "Hello! Hello!! How are you? What is your name?...aw yes, would you like mango or banana, Ericka?" (Mom is somewhere back home shaking her head and saying to herself when will this girl learn.) Suda, the fruit lady, would not let go of my arm as we walked until Caitlin and Jessica took our picture and until I promised to buy a banana from her later...I meant later in the trip was not sure if she meant that day. There were quite a few ladies on that beach selling fruit and for the rest of the time I did my best to avoid eye contact. Our last day on the beach we sat and soaked up the sun until it was time to load ourselves in the car. There were ladies selling fruit all around us; baskets full of fruit just dancing along the beach. "Hello! Friend. Hello!" Suda had found me. I bought two bananas...but more importantly I kept my promise.

Forging a bond. I like our group, we are learning a lot about ourselves as individuals but also getting to learn a lot about each other and our visions for our futures. We are the perfect mix of humor, intelligence, spunk, curiosity, independence, and temperance. My earlier descriptions for each member was superficial at best. I am still processing my newfound understanding of each of them but what I can gather at this point is that they are perfect reflections of their families, experiences, and dreams. Each with her/his unique perspectives and ideas but all with a profound love and commitment to the people in their lives.

Kanyakumari. The southern most tip of India is in the state of Tamilnadu, Kerala's neighbor to the east. We took a day trip to Kanyakumari because it is where the Arabian Sea, Bay of Bengal, and Indian Ocean meet. On our way there we stopped at a couple of historical sites before settling on the beach at sunset to watch the sun disappear behind the three bodies of water. We were at the southern most tip of India and had our feet in the Arabian Sea, Bay of Bengal, and Indian Ocean how cool is that?

Mountains. Ani took us to a rescue reserve park that had the backdrop of mountains...I thought nothing of that as we walked along the trail. He showed us some deer and peacocks and then asked if we would like to see a cave. We proceeded up a trail with huge steps that led to another winding trail. My intention was to keep my eyes on the person in front of me and take it one step at a time but like always the urge to see my surroundings overruled and I looked up. I was 1/3 of the way up the side of a mountain and my nerves, equilibrium, and everything in between started to panic. I ushered my group on and sat beside a boulder that blocked the view down which gave me comfort as well as allowed me to see a great portion of the area in front of me...it was beautiful. I looked up to see my peers reaching the top of the mountain and realized my reaction to stop at that particular moment was best. Jeremy and Ani are two strong men but I doubt either could walk down the side of a mountain with a 5'9" woman wrapped around their neck. If we go back, next time I will try to go a bit higher.

The Mahatma Gandhi Memorial was beautiful and even though the guard was a bit intense (to put it mildly) he conveyed the message of the memorial very well. The building was designed to reflect the three religions Gandhi worked to unify in India: Hinduism, Islam, and Catholicism. Beautifully perched in Kanyakumari the memorial houses a portion of Gandhi's remains. In the ceiling directly above the remains there is a hole that allows a beam of sunlight to shine on his memory.

This mini holiday was the right thing at the right time. I think we all needed time away from being the international students in Kalamassery and needed to spend time getting to know one another. We needed to see some of the history of the country; we were standing in temples that are 4,000 years old. We also needed to realize that where there are people there are social issues and that relaxation/luxury for one is livelihood for another.


innewzz.gif

August 6, 2008

Is marriage and commitment only an American hiccup?

At my present age I would be married and possibly carrying my second child if I were a woman raised in Kerala culture and tradition. I would have been married by the age of 24 to someone pre-selected by my parents. They would have found him through a marriage broker and both families would have completed some type of background check to confirm that both he and I were suitable (respectable enough) for the marriage. From my parents’ house to my husband’s house would not seem like such an absurd concept to me if I were a woman raised here. My twenties would not be about independence, self-sufficiency, or personal discovery. The constant ‘tug of war’ I play with myself might not exist. I am constantly yanked between two clear perceptions about my life: a) I am 28 and should be thinking about settling down and starting a family b) I am 28 and have so much more I need to accomplish before I can freely set my wants on hold to nurture and develop someone else’s. I am sure that there is a way to accomplish both but I just do not know if I am skilled enough to master that tight rope yet.

Living here I would not have these questions or this constant struggle. I know that I would have other personal challenges but my twenties (late twenties) would look so much different. The women that I meet within my age range (either a year my senior or junior) seem so much older than I am. Marriage and parenthood ages people, I know this, but still I cannot help but wonder do I seem selfish to them. Do they think I am wasting my life? As of 2000, the life expectancy rate for men in India is 64 and 65 for women. The life expectancy for people living in the state of Kerala is in the early 70s. Knowing this helps me understand the urgency for needing to start families but it does not make it any easier to accept. Midlife crisis takes on a whole new meaning when you consider 4-8 years from now I would be going through one.

Then there is the issue of love. Can love be preplanned by others who know you well but do not know you best? Were the fairytales of my childhood too vividly portrayed painting love and happily ever after (marriage) as these magical adventures? Can two people learn to love each other even if they are not mentally, spiritually, or physically attracted to each other? What is the recipe (always bringing it back to food) for a good marriage if love is not a main ingredient? Could a headstrong female accept a subservient status within her marriage and family life? Are these the women committing suicide that I have heard random stories about since my arrival? I do not know.

What I do know is that I am definitely learning a lot about cultural diversity and myself. I am learning that even if something does not work or hold value in my life does not take away from the value and worth in someone else’s life. I am recognizing in myself a desire to be both a wife and a mother which I did not truly believe existed in me. But perhaps more importantly is that I am learning acceptance of time and space; I am happy with who and what I am in the lives of those I love right now. If I am meant to be both a wife and a mother those roles will find me…my disclaimer is that I am learning this way of thinking not that I have mastered it.

Until next time, happy days from India!

top

Admissions
BSW Admissions
MSW Admissions
PhD Admissions
Explore Your Options
Instant Message
my Social netWork
Online Chats
Student Blogs

UMB SSW Bloggers
In Ericka's Blog
Archives Recent Posts Categories RSS Feed

footer bar University of Maryland School of Social Work - 525 West Redwood Street - Baltimore, MD 21201 - 410-706-7922
webmaster@ssw.umaryland.edu - Privacy Policy - Copyright 2008